Happy Birthday Baby!

Birthdays are always special- but to me, the magnitude of a birthday and it being a celebration of life changes it's level of importance. This year- Donte turned 26 and the day really did start off harder for me than I expected. I woke up really angry because of the situation that he was in; I was mad that he was in the hospital, I was mad that he had to spend a birthday in the hospital and I was flustered by the thought of what Donte and I would be doing on this day, had none of this ever happened.

Somewhere during the day- I got some level of peace because I thought to myself that although this day was a bad one, it could still be worse: Donte could be unresponsive or unable to talk, Donte could still be in ICU in a coma or a vegetative state or, worse, I could have been going to visit Donte at his grave. This all goes back to counting blessings. Although I struggled with my day, I didn't burden Donte with that because I wanted his day to be as happy as possible, which is was. Donte had therapy, he went on an outing with the other patients on his floor- he went to Dairy Queen and got a blizzard, Donte had an amazing dinner from my parents: steak, shrimp, sautéed vegetables, piña colada and rice pudding, and Donte had a surprise party with some of his nearest and dearest. He laughed and smiled more than I have seen him in weeks. It really warmed my heart to see him so happy and excited. Seeing all of his loved ones surround him made him put a lot into perspective for me in making me realize that this is one year of many years. We have all had a "shitty" birthday that we can remember but there is always a "phenomenal" birthday that can be remembered as well. Considering everything I did to make his day perfect, I would say he had a pretty great day, but as the year goes on and Donte progresses the joys in life like birthdays and vacations will get better.

Donte is a goal oriented man who has made a tremendous improvement since being admitted. The doctors have informed me that he has defied many odds and that his case is quite remarkable. They have advised of what they are hopeful for (i.e., they do believe he may walk again) and they have advised what they don't think will happen (i.e., they don't he will be able to return to work), but I take all of that will a grain of salt because at one point the doctors thought Donte would not survive the week. It is any man's guess what my husbands gains will be, but in truth, it is only God's decision. I believe in my husband even when others are not as hopeful and even when he himself is not hopeful, I believe in him enough for everyone because I know his strength and have seen his strength in numerous facets. Donte LOVES and THRIVES off of proving people wrong and surprising them. God does things with a purpose and whatever his reason for keeping Donte here, the point is that Donte is here and he has a destiny to fulfill. If Donte never walks again- then fine, he still is very much aware cognitively and there are many many great things that have been done by those with physical deficits (i.e., someone gave me a good example with Steven Hawkings, thought to be the most intelligent man and physicist in the world but has paralysis from the neck down). Donte will still be able to do so much and I cannot wait to see his gains in the coming weeks because I am confident that he will realize how far he has come.

On that positive note, I will leave you with some pictures of the party!

Stay safe, Stay strong, Take care and Have HOPE!

Kelli

Counting Blessings (A blog of my thoughts)

I have always considered myself a blessed person. I have two healthy parents who are absolutely crazy about each other, I am an only child and have always been spoiled beyond belief, I have always been the type of person who is surrounded by positive and caring friends who would do anything to support me, and I have the most amazing husband in the entire world who loves me for me. I have definitely seen some hard times and times of struggle, but all in all, I feel like my life has been wonderful thus far.

In the past 8 weeks of my life, so many things have changed. To name just a few, I am now the sole provider for my family, a "date night" for my husband and I now consists of me going to his hospital room and cuddling until we fall asleep, I have become very knowledgeable on matters of the brain and over all health, and I rarely have a moment of true relaxation. Donte and I once valued and prioritized in a certain way, and although at the time, the things we valued were of great importance, now we are understanding what truly matters; life has a funny way of using certain situations to clearly allow you to differentiate "wants" and "needs."  

As many things that have changed in my life, there is a lot that hasn't changed at all. My parents are still crazy about each other, my friends are still positive and would still do any and everything to demonstrate their love and support and I still have the most amazing husband in the world who loves me for me. Most importantly, even through this horrible situation, I still feel extremely blessed.

My husband is an amazing man and he is the strongest being that I have ever met in my entire life. I love him irrevocably and this situation has truly shown me the strength of our love and the importance of the vows that we made to each other on our wedding day. My husband and I were blessed when we met in 2007- because we were able to find love in its purest and truest form at the ages 18 and 20. There are some people who go their entire lives without finding love, there are people who die in pursuit of love. When things were a little more unknown with his medical stability and condition, I told my mother that as much as I want Donte to live, if he doesn't, I would not hold any hostility towards God or towards Donte because at the end of the day, I had found the love of my life and was able to spend a half decade with him by my side making memories filled with love and laughter. I told my mother that for that simple fact I was extremely blessed. Now that I know that Donte is in a wonderful medical position and now that I know he is progressing beautifully, I feel even more blessed because as lucky as we were to find love in each other the first time, we are even more blessed that God has allowed us a second chance at life and love again. I can firmly say that through the pain and tears that this situation has caused, my husband and I are falling in love with one and other all over again.

Sometimes in the darkest of tragedies, one finds the most blessings..
(Donte actually said that to me once..)

(Quick Donte Update: Rehab is going well- Donte is working hard and is a patient and pleasant individual to work with. His team of doctors, nurses, and therapists met today to discuss his progress. They have concluded that they expect Donte's stay to be between 4-6 weeks long, so by using that length of time, I have configured that Donte's discharge date will either be on April 17, 2013 OR May 1, 2013. He is getting his "tent" bed removed because he has been quite vocal in letting those around him know that he feels like a "caged dog in a kennel." In addition he has been able to eat 50% or more in all of his meals since he came to Rehab and has been taking his medication orally, crushed up in applesauce so they are looking to remove the feeding tube as soon as possible. Donte still requires maximum assistance on a majority of his movements but his therapists are saying that they are feeling more of his efforts to assist in every day movements and balancing.)

Day 1 in Rehab

Well, Donte has officially survived his first day as a Rehab Hospital patient. Let me preface by saying that he moved down to Rehab yesterday and when I saw him during my lunch hour, before he moved to his new room, he told me that he was nervous to go to Rehab. Donte just advising that he was nervous set me into a state of anxiousness myself. I wondered if he was REALLY ready and I wondered how well he would do. I was calling the hospital every hour on the hour just to insure that he was acclimating to his environment well. And to my surprise, he was. All night the nurses said he was patient and cooperative. He was calm and spent the night watching basketball.

Today, when I saw him, it was after work, I thought to go during lunch, but opted out of that because I didn't want to excite or overwhelm him on his first day with new therapist and a full load of Rehabilitation. When I finally saw Donte he was having dinner in a dining room with other Rehab patients and he was laughing and engaged. When he saw me he smiled, waved and blew me a kiss. I told him not to rush dinner and that I would be waiting for him in his new room. When he came into his room, he told me he had a good day, he showed me his schedule and told me how hard his schedule was. He told me he stretched in PT (Physical Therapy) for and hour, he told me he assisted in grooming and dressing in OT (Occupational Therapy) for another hour and then her worked on a louder voice in Speech Therapy. Donte told me he was tired.

I was so impressed with how talkative he was today and I did not have to prompt him as much for information. He even told me that he made friends at dinner. He remembered his friends names. Then he even asked me about my day.

But that is not even the BEST part! Donte caught me mid sentence and whispered "I can move my left leg now..."

I thought I heard him wrong but then he moved his left leg; he lifted it up in the air and then put it back down. When I asked him to do it again he did it immediately on command! He has not been able to do that consistently. He says it came back to him this morning. I cried like a small child because him moving that leg just made its possible for my husband to not only regain movement in his left arm, but also to walk out of this hospital. Although his left leg movement is significantly weaker than the right, it is still movement and If you have ever dealt with a TBI on any capacity, you will quickly understand that any movement is a miracle and means the world.

The moral of the story is that his brain is still healing and the progression is still coming. If this first day is an indication of what his whole stay will be like, then we should expect nothing but great things from my miracle of a husband, Donte Miranda-Baltimore.

Stay strong, Stay safe, Take care, and Have HOPE!

Kelli

The "Tent Bed" Situation

It is very common with TBI's for the survivor to begin to become more aggressive as they become more aware. It is also common for the survivor to become more focused on their more primitive needs (i.e., eating, using the restroom, sometimes even sexual needs as well).

Donte has certainly come a long way in recovery over the past 6 weeks on the Acute Neuro floor, however over the past two weeks, Donte's primary area of fixation has become escaping the hospital. Realistically, he is fully aware of his current physical deficits; he KNOWS that he can not stand or walk on his own and he KNOWS that he has very minimal range of motion (if any) on the left side of his body. However, that does not stop him from making numerous attempts to flee the hospital.

The restraining issue began a few weeks back when Donte still had his trach tube in place. Donte kept touching it because he wanted it removed. That resulted in a mitten being placed on his idle right hand. Donte then figured out that he could reach his right hand to his mouth and remove the mitten. After numerous nurses going into his room bewildered by the fact that the once secured mitten was now floor bound in his room, the mitten was removed for a period of time. In this time Donte figured out that he could reach his right arm over the bed railing and take the railing down enough so that his right leg could hang off the bed. When a nurse found him doing this she asked him why he was doing that and he voiced that he was "trying to escape." That resulted in Donte getting extra bed guards. The bed guards were large, padded and Carolina blue and were wedged in front of and secured behind the actual bed railings to obstruct Donte from pulling down the railing. Donte advised that he "felt like a lab rat." He figured out a way to remove the side bed guards and learned that he could use his right hand to push the button on the side of his bed to lift the side of the bed that his torso tested on far enough so that he could attempt to reach the bottom guards. My mother found him contorted like a pretzel one day while he was attempting to unhinge the bottom guard. After a few attempts of him pulling off the guards, the nursing unit ordered a "tent" bed. This is a bed that is inside of a box with mesh on it and is securable from the outside only. Donte hates this bed and advised that he feels like a "dog in a kennel." Unfortunately for his safety, he will be going to rehab with this contraption. Although I hate to see him in such an uncomfortable situation, I am happy that he is cognitively aware enough to be able to plot an escape and get through two out of three obstructions that the nurses threw at him. Below are some pictures of the mitten and the bed that he is currently in.

Stay safe, Stay strong, Take care and Have HOPE!

Kelli

They tried to make him go to Rehab- YES YES YES!

Well, less than an hour ago, I received the official word that my husband would be leaving the Acute Neuro Unit and heading to the Rehabilitation Hospital this upcoming Wednesday March 20, 2013! Although it feels like it has been an eternity since the accident occurred, it has realistically only been seven weeks and two days. I am so happy that I will be able to finally sigh a little relief as I rejoice in this being my husbands "last step" before coming home and attempting to resume life. Evidently in Rehab, they will formulate their own schedule for Donte (the same way they did in Neuro) and will essentially have him on a countdown system. As of yet he has only stood up with a machine assisting him for 10 minutes while maintaining good vitals. From what the doctors are noting there is a lot less muscle tone in the upper left extremity and since the Botox there has been (very minimal) range of motion and movement in that extremity, which is fantastic! Donte is also able to assist in turning now that he has built up some strength in his upper right extremity. Donte is moving his lower right extremity on command and was able to assist with a chair pivot to the bed with one of the nurses. I have also seen some movement in the lower left extremity myself but I try not to get too excited until someone confirms that the movement is seemingly purposeful because it could still just be muscle tone. Although Donte has not made any strides (no pun intended) to walk, he has voiced to me and several nurses on the Neuro Unit that his goal was to walk by Friday March 22, 2013! I will keep you posted on that! I hope to God that he is able to make that goal come true! Other than that, we are still doing good with the solid foods, his little stomach bug seems to be over and done with and they confirmed through a CT scan that there was nothing unusual in his stomach area, and Donte is still talking in a strong whisper- although speech will be working on some tactics to make his voice come through. All seems to be going well and I am so excited for this! I feel extremely lucky to have my husband alive, stable and fighting hard.

Stay strong, Stay safe, Take care and Have HOPE!

Kelli

Step Back..

Well, as can be expected with injuries of my husbands caliber, there is a minor set back. Of course I am hopeful that this is something that he will overcome, it is just so hard to see my husband in a stage like this.

Donte has roughly a week before he is scheduled to go to the rehabilitation hospital and although I hope that we stick with this schedule, I am fearful that his stay on the acute Neuro floor maybe extended.

In my last blog, Donte had just moved up in his diet and was now on soft solids. During his weekly report, I was told there was even talk about the feeding tube being removed. I was elated to hear that because the feeding tube is all that is left for him being completely free of anything other than what God gave him. Unfortunately this may be delayed as well. Donte did wonderfully on Monday and Tuesday of this week, but on Wednesday Donte began throwing up everything he ate. He did not eat more than 50% of any of his meals and was put back on tube feelings. The doctor ordered that an X-ray be taken of his stomach to see if there were any abnormalities an thankfully there were none. The only thing of concerned is that Donte has some built up bowels in his intestines (which is what they believe may be causing the vomiting). They are giving him medication for nausea and in addition are administering enemas to induce bowel movements. Today (Thursday) is better, I feel because he only through up once and was able to eat 50% of breakfast. Thy have now ordered a test of his urine to see if there is any bacteria anywhere. As Donte is only complaining of stomach pains and has no fever or pain anywhere else, everyone is assuming that constipation is the most likely culprit.

As a wife it is just really hard to not have a definitive answer as to what is going on. And being that I don't have an solid answer, it leads my mind to run through the worst possible scenario. I am making sure he rests as much as possible and am making him drink a lot of fluids. Hopefully in the days coming that will go away.

Please keep him in your prayers. Situations like this show me that we are not entirely out of the woods.

Stay strong, Stay safe, Take care and Have HOPE!

Kelli

First Non-puréed Meal: Sheer Enjoyment

Donte enjoying his first non-puréed breakfast. He had an omelette, a sausage patty, a biscuit, some chunky grits and mango apple sauce. It's so wonderful to see him so happy.

Moving on up!

Just wanted to send a quick update:

Donte did phenomenal with the soft solid diet trial yesterday and today. He is having difficulty with chewing on the left side (like most of the motor function on his body, which makes sense because he has more right frontal lobe damage. The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body.), but he is able to pace himself and is able to chew and swallow appropriately and with little trouble. With all that being said, Donte has been moved to a completely soft solid diet and has been switched from getting medicine through his peg tube to oral medication! What a blessing! Now, the last step of the game on this forefront, is to get the peg removed. Then Donte will only have what God gave him on his body :)
You see, times will get tough. Not every moment is going to be gumdrops and cotton candy. There will be moments that will be rotten. There will be days of tremendous improvement and in turn there will be set backs. It is important to trust that there is a purpose in the tragedy and that there will be good that come out of the bad- there always is.

If you continue the prayers and stay faith driven and positive, I truly believe that makes a world of a difference.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Stay strong, Stay blessed, Take care and HAVE HOPE!

TBI Complications, thus far

There is no denying that with such a significant wound to the brain, that there would be some pretty significant complications. As of now, by God's grace, I don't think that there are any complications that are going to be completely "detrimental" to Donte. His only issues are some slight problems with chewing that are getting better with speech therapy. Donte is on puréed foods but he is starting to have soft solids introduced into his diet (in fact, today is his first day with a completely soft solid meal so that the speech therapist can test how he does. If he does well, it is soft solids indefinitely! Fingers crossed!). Donte is having some impulse issues where his responses are a little premature without being fully thought out. Donte is having issues with perseveration (i.e., repeating an act or word over and over. It is a response based on the fact that the individual can start a task and cannot stop it). Donte is struggling with initiation; he is a little slow to start tasks but it is getting a lot better with the speech therapist. Donte has a pretty good response time and his responses are almost always appropriate. Donte also has a little bit of confabulation (i.e., when he cannot remember details of a story, he will make up what he does my remember) but that is few and far between as the majority of his memory (short and long term) is intact and lucid. The biggest issue Donte is having is some very increased muscle tone in both legs and his left arm. Donte has so much tone in those extremities that it is causes severe spasms that are extremely painful. The tone also prohibits Donte from demonstrating his true range of motion (if any) in those extremities. The doctors are hopeful that with physical therapy and muscle relaxers that the tone will alleviate itself over time and they anticipate him being able to walk. The doctors are taking a new approach to the tone in his arm- they have given him Botox injections in the left arm in an attempt to weaken the muscle and possibly allow Donte to gain control over the arm. The dose of Botox lasts 3 months so hopefully we will see a decrease in tone and an increase in movement over the coming weeks. They won't be able to inject Botox in his legs because Botox injections are not as effective in the legs. Other than that, I cannot see too much of a difference. Donte is delayed and not as talkative, but he participates in conversations appropriately. And Donte really is still "my Donte" with his sweet responses and gestures. There is research that suggests that frontal lobe injuries change personality so one could worry that their loved one will never be the same. In many ways, they may not be. They may not be able to walk or drive or work or they may respond to situations differently or have difficulty responding emotionally. I try not to dwell on that because that would induce an anxiety attack. I believe that aspects of your personality may resonate in your frontal lobe, but I believe that there is something that makes you who you are and I believe THAT is in the heart and soul. That I believe NO ONE can touch or take from you. So I have no doubt that Donte will be himself. I spoke to someone a while back about the injury that my husband suffered and they have me the best advice ever. They told me not to let anyone take away my miracle. Donte is my miracle. He has been my miracle since he walked into my life in 2007. God is allowing my husband a 2nd chance at life, and God has allowed Donte and I a second chance at love. I cannot express how grateful I am for God's irrevocable love and mercy on my family and as much as I wish this situation could have just not happened, I cannot help but feel like there is some divine purpose and reasoning behind this; after all God works in mysterious ways.

Stay strong, Stay blessed, Take care, and HAVE HOPE!

Kelli

Let's put the faces with the names: Now and Then Candids of Donte and I

How the Journey Began and Where We Are Now

Have you ever asked yourself why certain things happen to certain people?..
Surely, we all have moments of struggle and trials and tribulations, but have you ever stopped for a second to really think about why certain things happen to certain people?..
Like why do some avid smokers, who lead the most unhealthy lifestyles, never have any issue with health when in turn, there are health obsessed individuals, who have never even looked at a cigarette, who end up getting diagnosed with terminal lung cancer? I pose that question because my husband and I are currently facing a life altering event that has made me (at least) question "Why me? Why us?" I guess the best answer is simply because life is unpredictable, spontaneous and random and if you find yourself faced with a time of intense struggle, you have to keep fighting and attempt to survive as best you can.

This blog is not a "bitching" blog, but I have always heard that you have to captivate an audience with the first paragraph of anything you write in order to intrigue them, in the hopes that they will continue to read. I want whoever falls upon this page to continue to read because I want my husband's journey to be heard. I want my husband's story to be documented and I want to allow others in similar situations to be able to relate and find hope, because regardless of what any one in the world tells you about the fate of your loved one (when they are in a rough situation of any kind) or yourself, there is ALWAYS hope and there is ALWAYS a reason to smile.

My name is Kelli, by the way; Kelliann Miranda-Baltimore. On June 24, 2011, I married the love of my life, Donte Miranda-Baltimore. We have been together for coming up on six years this November. During the years we have been through, 1 year long tour in Baghdad, Iraq (Donte was an enlisted E4 Specialist in Combat Camera and Videography in the Army Reserves) and 1 half year study abroad trip (I have a B.A. in Psychology and Spanish and I went to Merida, Mexico to finish up my Spanish major). On January 26, 2013, we were 1 year, 6 months, and two days into our marriage when something devastating happened. Donte suffered from an accidental self-inflicted gun shot wound (GSW) to the head. I know a lot of you will read this and probably think to yourselves, "how can a self-inflicted GSW to the head be an accident?" Honestly, just take it for what it is worth. Like I said, this blog is to mark his journey, not to judge or try to dissect the catalyst. I don't care to discuss the details of how, why and when, because what I have come to realize over the past few weeks is that all that matters is that he survived; by God's grace, Donte survived this normally fatal wound. Let me tell you the details of why this is a miracle. On January 25, 2013, there was a snow storm and although there was not a drastic amount of snow that remained on the ground after the storm, the freezing temperatures enabled what little snow remaining to freeze rendering our country roads impossible to drive on. When Donte's accident occurred, my family and I had to make every attempt to keep him alive until the paramedics were able to take him away. Donte's accident occurred at approximately 3:00 am. The ambulance did not arrive until closer to 4:00 am and Donte did not make it to the hospital until closer to 5:00 am. When he arrived at the hospital, the brain surgeon that was scheduled to do his surgery was in another surgery, so Donte had to wait another half hour after his arrival at the hospital before he was able to have his brain surgery. That means, that my husband was able to hold on to his life for 2.5 hours. Due to this GSW, Donte suffered a "penetrating traumatic brain injury (PTBI)," which is when a foreign object (e.g., a bullet) enters the brain and causes damage to specific brain parts. The GSW pierced both of his frontal lobes; he essentially damaged nearly all of his right frontal lobe and minimally damaged the front end of his left frontal lobe.

Upon arrival at the hospital, Donte was given a test to measure his consciousness  This test was called the Glasco Coma Scale (GCS). This test is measured by a patients ability to follow a series of commands. Donte entered the hospital with the lowest possible GCS score, which was a 3, meaning that he was virtually unresponsive (or in a coma like state). I am told by nurses that when Donte arrived at the hospital he was able to move his right pointer finger on command, but it was such a minimal movement that the nurses and doctors did not deem it "purposeful." Donte's vitals were stable enough that the doctors and nurses felt comfortable giving him a CT scan to see the damage to his brain. His initial CT scan showed that the force of the bullet caused his brain to shift off of its axis.  Due to the fact that the wound was so fresh, the CT scan was unable to determine (or rather "pick up" on) the extent of the damage to his head. Donte underwent a 5 hour surgery, in which all of the bullet fragments and debris were removed from his brain, all but one small bone fragment from his skull was removed, his brain was flushed out to clear out any other debris and one part of his skull was removed to make room for his brain to swell (if the doctors did not remove this part of his skull, that could have potentially caused more damage based on the fact that his brain would have swelled to a larger size than his skull was able to hold, which would have caused pressure). I was able to see Donte for the first time since the accident at 10:30 am on January 26. I am told now, that Donte's original prognosis was only 3-5 days to live because the extent of his injury was so severe, however at the time I was told by the doctors that this was a "make it or break it" time for Donte. Your brain is the purest entity in your body and it is vastly protected by your skull and the fluid that houses it. When anything from the outside enters into that pure area, the chances of infection are extremely high. Within the first 72 hours, we would have to wait to see how Donte would fair as far as infection. Donte was able to pass that mark without infection.

Donte spent 1 week in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), by the end of that week, he was able to open his right eye and give a thumbs up and had a GCS score of about 10 (with 13 being the highest possibly score). Donte was then sent up to the 5th floor to maintain stability for one week. After that, Donte was moved to the location that he is still currently at, which is the Acute Neuro floor (6th Floor). Donte has been on this floor for almost 4 weeks and has roughly 2 weeks left before being sent to the rehab hospital. Collectively, it has been about a month and a half since the accident and we are just about 1/2 way (I feel) in to Donte's hospital stay. Donte has made leaps in his improvement. Both of his eyes have healed beautifully, as have the entrance and exit wound and the scar from his brain surgery. Donte got taken off of the ventilator while in ICU and had a tracheotomy  Donte has since had his trach removed and is breathing on his own. Donte is able to maintain his vitals and never leaked a drop of spinal fluid. Donte is able to track with both eyes, he is able to write and speak, he has demonstrated that he is very cognitively aware of what is going on, he has not demonstrated any memory loss, can advise when he has to use the bathroom and can pee in a urinal on his own, he is able to move his right upper arm beautifully and has some purposeful movement in his right lower leg and can move his neck. Donte his able to feed himself and is making strides toward getting to a soft/solid diet (he is currently on pureed food). Donte survived the MRSA he contracted due to bacteria in his sputem. Donte his able to assist in clothing himself and grooming. The doctors have told me that they believe that he will walk again, possibly with some assistance. All in all he has astounded everyone who has crossed paths with him in the hospital because in the short 6 weeks of his stay, he has defied so many odds. It is said that of self-inflicted GSW, 90% of those wounds are fatal on the spot. Of the 10% that are not initially fatal, 5% of the victims die either on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. Of the other 5% of survivors, 3% are left with severe deficits whereas 2% are able to return to some type of normalcy. Of course, I am avidly praying and asking for prayers from any and every one willing to send prayers our way, but I cannot deny that Donte and I are already SO blessed that God has spared him and allowed him to physically survive. Moreover, he survived with a significant level of cognition, which is amazing.

If you are unfamiliar with TBI's then you are unfamiliar with the level of vagueness and uncertainty that this type of injury brings. There is nothing that is definitively known and each injury is unique in its own way; you and I could have a GSW to the head with the same exact bullet trajectory down to the fragment trail left in both of our brains. We could have the same surgeries with the same level of medical stability and still our recoveries could be different. I could be able to sustain a normal life and talk and drive and work whereas you may be cognitively deficient to the point where you need to be placed in a facility. Essentially, there is nothing that you can plan for (which is completely out of my realm of comfort as I am an avid planner and type A personality). There are not many stories out there on others who have survived similar wounds and that is because the percentage of mortality is so high. Rest assure though, if you do some research, there are people out there.

I found that in the earlier weeks and sometimes even now, it is nice to look up stories of people who have survived similar situations and are okay. It gives me some sense of hope and keeps the faith for me. Two others that I have found who have been through similar situations are Rachel Barenzinsky (in 2007, she was shot in the head while going to visit a haunted house. She is currently able to speak, walk, she graduated high school, took some higher education classes and is able to work) and Michael Wood (in 2007, he attempted suicide by shooting himself in the head. He is currently wheelchair bound, but has what seems to be 100% cognition and speech and some small movement in his upper extremities and neck. He is happy, well and engaged to be married and is a positive individual who uses his testimony to speak for suicide prevention).

My hope for this blog is a couple of things: I hope that I can be a source of hope for others who are in similar situations, so that they can feel the same hope that I feel when reading the stories of others, I hope that this can be therapeutic for me because I am in a place where I am having a hard time making sense of what all has happened and I cannot gather my emotions or even be able to express them adequately, and finally I hope that this could be a useful source for both my husband and I. I hope that years from now, when Donte is in a better place and our lives have reached some level of "normal," we can look back at this and see where this all started and how far he has come. I hope to go through comments on each blog and see words of kindness and hope so that Donte can see that people all over the world are touched and encouraged by his story and look to see his continued success.

I will keep this blog updated as I can with updates on his success and how we are coping as a family unit. Just to answer questions- Donte and I did not have any children, it was just he and I and we were living with my parents in the basement saving to get our own place. Donte is 25 (going to be 26 on March 29, 2011) and I am 23 years old (going to be 24 on June 6, 2013). Look to the left for a recent picture of us in Donte's hospital bed! He is actually smiling minimally in this picture, has his arm around me and is chucking a deuce (or peace sign) at the camera in this picture!

Thank you for taking the time to read this,

and I promise I will try to condense the blogs so that they are not dissertations!

Stay blessed, Stay safe, Take care and HAVE HOPE.

Kelli