Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Taco Tuesday!
Donte's diet got moved up to "regular" this week meaning that he has the green light to eat whatever he wants! Naturally, with being married to a Latina, he chose his first outside "regular" meal to be Spanish food! Haha! Here are some pictures of my little fatty indulging in his first meal on his regular diet!
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Coming Around
I realized I hadn't posted in a few days and thought I would share some progression with those of you following. I am not sure if I ever mentioned this, but I am really not good with keeping up with blogs. I tried a make-up blog, I tried a weight loss blog and both of those efforts were futile because I never followed through with more than about 5 or 6 posts. I am really making a genuine effort here with this one because it isn't for me, it's for Donte. I always mean to write, but my life is so disheveled that sometimes I can't even remember to eat or wash my clothing.
You know, I remember when Donte came back from Iraq like it was yesterday. Initially we were so overwhelmed with love and happiness that we were finally united again, but after some time we began to realize that although our love for each other was the same, the long distance and the different experiences with the deployment distanced us a little bit because we both had a different perspective and had a hard time understanding the other persons perspective. Donte knew what it was like to be the one leaving and I knew what it was like to be the one left behind. It took us a while to realize that although we would never know exactly what the other person went through, the experiences were equally as hard, just in different ways. When Donte was in Iraq, he was risking his life, daily. He had to go out on hard missions, deal with small living quarters and was pretty much cut off from communication with a majority of his family members. I was left behind with memories of him, was always fearful of whether the next mission would be his last and I dealt with the loneliness of the love of my life not being at my disposal like he once was.
I think that the same thing applies in present situation, which is why I tell Donte that we are both fighting this fight together. Donte has to work hard through all of his therapies and has to deal the medications, the blood samples, the procedures, the cultures, the X-rays and being in the hospital all the time with out being able to make complete movements on his own. I cannot imagine the frustration he is dealing with and frankly I give him entirely more credit because if the shoe had been on the other foot, I am not sure that I would be able to keep my composure as he does; Donte always has been the calmer soul out of the two of us.
In turn, I have to handle the bills, I have to continue working when I want to be by his side, I am paying the hospital bills, I have to keep a strong face for everyone, I have to live in the house where the accident occurred, I have to sleep in the bed we once shared, I have to manage my life in order to be able to care for him adequately; need I remind everyone that we are only 26 and 23 years old? We are fighting a long and excruciating battle at a very young age, I keep telling myself that the biggest problems we should have are: when are we going to have kids? And where do we want to live?
And at one point our problems were even more trivial than that- but life has a funny way of pulling the rug from under you with no warning at all. I am not angered by my situation though, because moments like this have a way of deeply humbling you and making you realize what life is really meant for. This accident took a lot a way from us, but it also gave us a lot more. I could be a widow right now, many woman are. I could have a husband who is in a coma. I could have a husband with the cognitive abilities of a toddler. But I don't. I have a husband who smiles whenever he sees me and who tells me that I make him feel safe. I have a husband who thanks me for everything I do. I have a husband who waits until he believes I am sleeping to use his last little bit of energy to give me kisses on my cheek and forehead. I have a husband who can tell me about his day and how he is feeling. I have a husband who can hold my hand and hug me and who can wipe my tears away when I cry. Shoot, I have A HUSBAND. This event was one that is deeply unfortunate but this unfortunate event has shown me how lucky we are to have one and other, still.
And Donte continues to make gains. This week he went from a total assistance required (meaning he needs 100% assistance) to a moderate assistance required (meaning he needs 50% assistance) in his squat pivot from the bed to his wheelchair. Donte's feeding tube got removed, so he is FREE of all things that God did not give him and he got a tentative date of release: May 15, 2013! I hope that date holds true because it is so nice to have something tangible to count down to; that puts my type A, planning personality to ease. Donte is also no longer whispering. He has found his voice. It isn't exactly the "Donte" voice I remember, but I can hear him in there; plus I hear it takes up to a year to voices to gravitate to a level or normalcy.
Donte always use to ask me why he had such "bad luck." I always told him that he has bad luck in trivial things because when the big things come his way he ALWAYS gets lucky. Donte is the type of person to buy a winning lottery ticket and lose it, which is in lucky, but he is also the type of person who walks into his first interview for the job of his dreams, stutters and perspires through the whole interview and gets a job offer like an hour after interviewing. I used to say "Babe, you can't have it all. God makes gave you luck where it counts..."
He survived a gun shot wound to the right and left frontal lobes of his brain and is still cognitively coherent, with language fully intact and improving mobility...
I'd say that is luck where it counts,
Wouldn't you?
Stay safe, Stay strong, Take care and Have HOPE!
Kelli
You know, I remember when Donte came back from Iraq like it was yesterday. Initially we were so overwhelmed with love and happiness that we were finally united again, but after some time we began to realize that although our love for each other was the same, the long distance and the different experiences with the deployment distanced us a little bit because we both had a different perspective and had a hard time understanding the other persons perspective. Donte knew what it was like to be the one leaving and I knew what it was like to be the one left behind. It took us a while to realize that although we would never know exactly what the other person went through, the experiences were equally as hard, just in different ways. When Donte was in Iraq, he was risking his life, daily. He had to go out on hard missions, deal with small living quarters and was pretty much cut off from communication with a majority of his family members. I was left behind with memories of him, was always fearful of whether the next mission would be his last and I dealt with the loneliness of the love of my life not being at my disposal like he once was.
I think that the same thing applies in present situation, which is why I tell Donte that we are both fighting this fight together. Donte has to work hard through all of his therapies and has to deal the medications, the blood samples, the procedures, the cultures, the X-rays and being in the hospital all the time with out being able to make complete movements on his own. I cannot imagine the frustration he is dealing with and frankly I give him entirely more credit because if the shoe had been on the other foot, I am not sure that I would be able to keep my composure as he does; Donte always has been the calmer soul out of the two of us.
In turn, I have to handle the bills, I have to continue working when I want to be by his side, I am paying the hospital bills, I have to keep a strong face for everyone, I have to live in the house where the accident occurred, I have to sleep in the bed we once shared, I have to manage my life in order to be able to care for him adequately; need I remind everyone that we are only 26 and 23 years old? We are fighting a long and excruciating battle at a very young age, I keep telling myself that the biggest problems we should have are: when are we going to have kids? And where do we want to live?
And at one point our problems were even more trivial than that- but life has a funny way of pulling the rug from under you with no warning at all. I am not angered by my situation though, because moments like this have a way of deeply humbling you and making you realize what life is really meant for. This accident took a lot a way from us, but it also gave us a lot more. I could be a widow right now, many woman are. I could have a husband who is in a coma. I could have a husband with the cognitive abilities of a toddler. But I don't. I have a husband who smiles whenever he sees me and who tells me that I make him feel safe. I have a husband who thanks me for everything I do. I have a husband who waits until he believes I am sleeping to use his last little bit of energy to give me kisses on my cheek and forehead. I have a husband who can tell me about his day and how he is feeling. I have a husband who can hold my hand and hug me and who can wipe my tears away when I cry. Shoot, I have A HUSBAND. This event was one that is deeply unfortunate but this unfortunate event has shown me how lucky we are to have one and other, still.
And Donte continues to make gains. This week he went from a total assistance required (meaning he needs 100% assistance) to a moderate assistance required (meaning he needs 50% assistance) in his squat pivot from the bed to his wheelchair. Donte's feeding tube got removed, so he is FREE of all things that God did not give him and he got a tentative date of release: May 15, 2013! I hope that date holds true because it is so nice to have something tangible to count down to; that puts my type A, planning personality to ease. Donte is also no longer whispering. He has found his voice. It isn't exactly the "Donte" voice I remember, but I can hear him in there; plus I hear it takes up to a year to voices to gravitate to a level or normalcy.
Donte always use to ask me why he had such "bad luck." I always told him that he has bad luck in trivial things because when the big things come his way he ALWAYS gets lucky. Donte is the type of person to buy a winning lottery ticket and lose it, which is in lucky, but he is also the type of person who walks into his first interview for the job of his dreams, stutters and perspires through the whole interview and gets a job offer like an hour after interviewing. I used to say "Babe, you can't have it all. God makes gave you luck where it counts..."
He survived a gun shot wound to the right and left frontal lobes of his brain and is still cognitively coherent, with language fully intact and improving mobility...
I'd say that is luck where it counts,
Wouldn't you?
Stay safe, Stay strong, Take care and Have HOPE!
Kelli
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