How the Journey Began and Where We Are Now

Have you ever asked yourself why certain things happen to certain people?..
Surely, we all have moments of struggle and trials and tribulations, but have you ever stopped for a second to really think about why certain things happen to certain people?..
Like why do some avid smokers, who lead the most unhealthy lifestyles, never have any issue with health when in turn, there are health obsessed individuals, who have never even looked at a cigarette, who end up getting diagnosed with terminal lung cancer? I pose that question because my husband and I are currently facing a life altering event that has made me (at least) question "Why me? Why us?" I guess the best answer is simply because life is unpredictable, spontaneous and random and if you find yourself faced with a time of intense struggle, you have to keep fighting and attempt to survive as best you can.

This blog is not a "bitching" blog, but I have always heard that you have to captivate an audience with the first paragraph of anything you write in order to intrigue them, in the hopes that they will continue to read. I want whoever falls upon this page to continue to read because I want my husband's journey to be heard. I want my husband's story to be documented and I want to allow others in similar situations to be able to relate and find hope, because regardless of what any one in the world tells you about the fate of your loved one (when they are in a rough situation of any kind) or yourself, there is ALWAYS hope and there is ALWAYS a reason to smile.

My name is Kelli, by the way; Kelliann Miranda-Baltimore. On June 24, 2011, I married the love of my life, Donte Miranda-Baltimore. We have been together for coming up on six years this November. During the years we have been through, 1 year long tour in Baghdad, Iraq (Donte was an enlisted E4 Specialist in Combat Camera and Videography in the Army Reserves) and 1 half year study abroad trip (I have a B.A. in Psychology and Spanish and I went to Merida, Mexico to finish up my Spanish major). On January 26, 2013, we were 1 year, 6 months, and two days into our marriage when something devastating happened. Donte suffered from an accidental self-inflicted gun shot wound (GSW) to the head. I know a lot of you will read this and probably think to yourselves, "how can a self-inflicted GSW to the head be an accident?" Honestly, just take it for what it is worth. Like I said, this blog is to mark his journey, not to judge or try to dissect the catalyst. I don't care to discuss the details of how, why and when, because what I have come to realize over the past few weeks is that all that matters is that he survived; by God's grace, Donte survived this normally fatal wound. Let me tell you the details of why this is a miracle. On January 25, 2013, there was a snow storm and although there was not a drastic amount of snow that remained on the ground after the storm, the freezing temperatures enabled what little snow remaining to freeze rendering our country roads impossible to drive on. When Donte's accident occurred, my family and I had to make every attempt to keep him alive until the paramedics were able to take him away. Donte's accident occurred at approximately 3:00 am. The ambulance did not arrive until closer to 4:00 am and Donte did not make it to the hospital until closer to 5:00 am. When he arrived at the hospital, the brain surgeon that was scheduled to do his surgery was in another surgery, so Donte had to wait another half hour after his arrival at the hospital before he was able to have his brain surgery. That means, that my husband was able to hold on to his life for 2.5 hours. Due to this GSW, Donte suffered a "penetrating traumatic brain injury (PTBI)," which is when a foreign object (e.g., a bullet) enters the brain and causes damage to specific brain parts. The GSW pierced both of his frontal lobes; he essentially damaged nearly all of his right frontal lobe and minimally damaged the front end of his left frontal lobe.

Upon arrival at the hospital, Donte was given a test to measure his consciousness  This test was called the Glasco Coma Scale (GCS). This test is measured by a patients ability to follow a series of commands. Donte entered the hospital with the lowest possible GCS score, which was a 3, meaning that he was virtually unresponsive (or in a coma like state). I am told by nurses that when Donte arrived at the hospital he was able to move his right pointer finger on command, but it was such a minimal movement that the nurses and doctors did not deem it "purposeful." Donte's vitals were stable enough that the doctors and nurses felt comfortable giving him a CT scan to see the damage to his brain. His initial CT scan showed that the force of the bullet caused his brain to shift off of its axis.  Due to the fact that the wound was so fresh, the CT scan was unable to determine (or rather "pick up" on) the extent of the damage to his head. Donte underwent a 5 hour surgery, in which all of the bullet fragments and debris were removed from his brain, all but one small bone fragment from his skull was removed, his brain was flushed out to clear out any other debris and one part of his skull was removed to make room for his brain to swell (if the doctors did not remove this part of his skull, that could have potentially caused more damage based on the fact that his brain would have swelled to a larger size than his skull was able to hold, which would have caused pressure). I was able to see Donte for the first time since the accident at 10:30 am on January 26. I am told now, that Donte's original prognosis was only 3-5 days to live because the extent of his injury was so severe, however at the time I was told by the doctors that this was a "make it or break it" time for Donte. Your brain is the purest entity in your body and it is vastly protected by your skull and the fluid that houses it. When anything from the outside enters into that pure area, the chances of infection are extremely high. Within the first 72 hours, we would have to wait to see how Donte would fair as far as infection. Donte was able to pass that mark without infection.

Donte spent 1 week in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), by the end of that week, he was able to open his right eye and give a thumbs up and had a GCS score of about 10 (with 13 being the highest possibly score). Donte was then sent up to the 5th floor to maintain stability for one week. After that, Donte was moved to the location that he is still currently at, which is the Acute Neuro floor (6th Floor). Donte has been on this floor for almost 4 weeks and has roughly 2 weeks left before being sent to the rehab hospital. Collectively, it has been about a month and a half since the accident and we are just about 1/2 way (I feel) in to Donte's hospital stay. Donte has made leaps in his improvement. Both of his eyes have healed beautifully, as have the entrance and exit wound and the scar from his brain surgery. Donte got taken off of the ventilator while in ICU and had a tracheotomy  Donte has since had his trach removed and is breathing on his own. Donte is able to maintain his vitals and never leaked a drop of spinal fluid. Donte is able to track with both eyes, he is able to write and speak, he has demonstrated that he is very cognitively aware of what is going on, he has not demonstrated any memory loss, can advise when he has to use the bathroom and can pee in a urinal on his own, he is able to move his right upper arm beautifully and has some purposeful movement in his right lower leg and can move his neck. Donte his able to feed himself and is making strides toward getting to a soft/solid diet (he is currently on pureed food). Donte survived the MRSA he contracted due to bacteria in his sputem. Donte his able to assist in clothing himself and grooming. The doctors have told me that they believe that he will walk again, possibly with some assistance. All in all he has astounded everyone who has crossed paths with him in the hospital because in the short 6 weeks of his stay, he has defied so many odds. It is said that of self-inflicted GSW, 90% of those wounds are fatal on the spot. Of the 10% that are not initially fatal, 5% of the victims die either on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. Of the other 5% of survivors, 3% are left with severe deficits whereas 2% are able to return to some type of normalcy. Of course, I am avidly praying and asking for prayers from any and every one willing to send prayers our way, but I cannot deny that Donte and I are already SO blessed that God has spared him and allowed him to physically survive. Moreover, he survived with a significant level of cognition, which is amazing.

If you are unfamiliar with TBI's then you are unfamiliar with the level of vagueness and uncertainty that this type of injury brings. There is nothing that is definitively known and each injury is unique in its own way; you and I could have a GSW to the head with the same exact bullet trajectory down to the fragment trail left in both of our brains. We could have the same surgeries with the same level of medical stability and still our recoveries could be different. I could be able to sustain a normal life and talk and drive and work whereas you may be cognitively deficient to the point where you need to be placed in a facility. Essentially, there is nothing that you can plan for (which is completely out of my realm of comfort as I am an avid planner and type A personality). There are not many stories out there on others who have survived similar wounds and that is because the percentage of mortality is so high. Rest assure though, if you do some research, there are people out there.

I found that in the earlier weeks and sometimes even now, it is nice to look up stories of people who have survived similar situations and are okay. It gives me some sense of hope and keeps the faith for me. Two others that I have found who have been through similar situations are Rachel Barenzinsky (in 2007, she was shot in the head while going to visit a haunted house. She is currently able to speak, walk, she graduated high school, took some higher education classes and is able to work) and Michael Wood (in 2007, he attempted suicide by shooting himself in the head. He is currently wheelchair bound, but has what seems to be 100% cognition and speech and some small movement in his upper extremities and neck. He is happy, well and engaged to be married and is a positive individual who uses his testimony to speak for suicide prevention).

My hope for this blog is a couple of things: I hope that I can be a source of hope for others who are in similar situations, so that they can feel the same hope that I feel when reading the stories of others, I hope that this can be therapeutic for me because I am in a place where I am having a hard time making sense of what all has happened and I cannot gather my emotions or even be able to express them adequately, and finally I hope that this could be a useful source for both my husband and I. I hope that years from now, when Donte is in a better place and our lives have reached some level of "normal," we can look back at this and see where this all started and how far he has come. I hope to go through comments on each blog and see words of kindness and hope so that Donte can see that people all over the world are touched and encouraged by his story and look to see his continued success.

I will keep this blog updated as I can with updates on his success and how we are coping as a family unit. Just to answer questions- Donte and I did not have any children, it was just he and I and we were living with my parents in the basement saving to get our own place. Donte is 25 (going to be 26 on March 29, 2011) and I am 23 years old (going to be 24 on June 6, 2013). Look to the left for a recent picture of us in Donte's hospital bed! He is actually smiling minimally in this picture, has his arm around me and is chucking a deuce (or peace sign) at the camera in this picture!

Thank you for taking the time to read this,

and I promise I will try to condense the blogs so that they are not dissertations!

Stay blessed, Stay safe, Take care and HAVE HOPE.

Kelli